подборочка

140599 (сохранена 2010-10-18 в 08:30)

На одном сайте о шитье

Ссылки по теме:
Выкройка жилета
Закрепление петель
Жим штанги лежа
Вышивка бисером

Суровые русские рукодельницы....

#76974 +(394)- [X]

SELECT * FROM {[chicks]} WHERE {[bust_size]} > 32C AND NOT {[is_fat_chick]} AND {[looks]} = Hot! AND NOT {([is_psych_student]} OR {[is_law-student]} OR {[is_commerce_student])} AND {[will_swallow]} = True AND {[has_own_cash]} :P
oh, good one :P
I think we've just made a SQL statement for the perfect woman :P now if only there where such a table..

#1354 +(850)- [X]

I have Q3, but I like playing it about as much as I like trying to suck my own wang.
i.e. it's painful and futile, but once and a while I try to do it just to prove that I can. And I can't.

#299631 (635/709) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
hi
hey
how are you?
luke, i need to tell you something
what is it babe?
i know i should probably say this 2 you face-2-face, but im nervous
we've been going out 4 a while now
and things hav been going gr8
yeah
and i think
i think...
i <3>
i...
i don't understand
you can't have inequalities with imaginary numbers
*** sexiann has quit IRC (leaving)

138105 (сохранена 2010-09-27 в 20:35)

x:а мне вчера звонила Ирочка
x:девочка, которую я в свое время девственности лишил
x:такой неприятный разговор
x:она помешана на гороскопах
x:уверяла что у нас с ней не получилось из-за того что овен во льве
x:а она кто там там еще
x:я всегда думал что у нас не получилoсь потому что она ебанутая :-) а оказывается это я овен во льве)))

#29108 (238/378) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
We need to get Mike a girlfriend whose name doesn't end in .jpg

#8545 +(566)- [X]

[@Gentleman_Junkie] Sure your ass will hurt, but its better than getting pregnant...

#367871 +(535)- [X]

[LoTek] my girl bleeds a lot.
[LoTek] like, for 5 or 6 days
[LoTek] that cant be normal.
[Dissembler] wow, you should take her to the vet.

#428662 +(1554)- [X]

(*)Embers(*): should i ask jonny this---
(*)Embers(*): ok so i know we haven't known each other
for long and I really shouldn't be asking you for
this..... but I want it so bad don't get me wrong it's
just that I haven't had it for a long time I could
already feel it going in so hard and coming out so soft
and wet. No one has to know about this, I'm desperate,
but your help can be very grateful!!!
(*)Embers(*): you must think I have a lot of nerve
asking you for this but I can feel my tongue around it
sucking all the juice out until there no more left, this
has been on my mind all day long and I hope I'm not
being forward but.... can I have a piece of gum?

137225 (сохранена 2010-09-19 в 23:35)

xxx: тебе кто-нибудь говорил какая ты умная?
ууу: Нет, ты будешь первым))
ххх: не буду..

Нарком Потрошилов очень радовался Тихону Гренадерову и

девственной чистоте его сознания.

-- Не чета нынешним, шибко умным! Они порнографии

насмотрелись, пастернаков начитались -- работать-то и

разучились. А я парня на правильную линию выведу. Я, может,

будущего вождя воспитаю тем самым! Наши головы в профиль над

президиумом вешать будут! А не ошибаются одни бездельники. Да и

не было никаких ошибок, правильно мы всех сволочей постреляли.

#665628 +(792)- [X]

You know your mom has humour when her password to the computer is "divorce05"

#585651 +(1075)- [X]

durandal: see, a whore is a girl who sleeps with everyone... a bitch is a girl who sleeps with everyone but you

#416654 +(1544)- [X]

(oSiRuS) I'm 19 years old and I have absolutely NO experience with women. Never had a kiss, never had a hug, never had so much as a handshake, and I have no idea why.
(oSiRuS) I'm not a nerd. I don't have acne or glasses, I'm not fat. There's really nothing wrong with me, I just can't understand why I'm such a worthless candidate for dating.
(@KillJoy) try walking out of the front door

#78554 +(1069)- [X]

why can't alyssa milano live next door to me, be lonely and need the satisfaction and fullfillment that only a 20 year old computer programmer can provide...
* azathoth shakes his fist at god and goes back to his debugging

#16910 +(335)- [X]

<@Tilt> this is the funniest thing i have ever read in a sources TODO list
<@Tilt> o Learn C

#735716 +(589)- [X]

so whats the difference between dating and going out then?
Dating comes before going out, it isn't as serious.
THink of dating as Beta and going out as Release.
....and that statement shows why I've never got to play the Alpha build.

#32508 +(369)- [X]

I had some friends once but they keep leaving me
You there?

#384228 +(606)- [X]

I tried using the old "show me yours and I'll show you mine" trick...maybe I should reverse it...show me yours OR I'll show you mine.

#345535 +(407)- [X]

[+[-BONG-]] small things amuse small minds....
[detepe] bong: not true, most of the cheerleaders I know love big dicks :(
[+[-BONG-]] kind of leaves you out huh?
[detepe] bong: yeah, it sucks :(

#36828 +(567)- [X]

and i dont dress quite like the other boys
"what are you wearing?" "a kilt" "no man thats a skirt.." "its a kilt im telling you..." "uhhh its pink, has flowers and shoulder straps" "its a prety kilt"

#136501 +(553)- [X]

<> fuck
<> no matter how good of a programmer you think you may be, designing a fast algorithm is still hard fucking shit.
<@solar> did you consider that maybe you're not a good programmer

#600242 +(567)- [X]

hey your friends are waiting for you down that hallway...
theres nobody there!
thats right.. you have no friends

.

#40470 +(398)- [X]

rock climbing == need a partner
maybe ill just join #gym
err
join the gym

#192888 +(1292)- [X]

Is there like a way to put a compiler in "Just trust me on that one" mode?

#62882 +(862)- [X]

<+Ivy[OmNi]> so.. you come here often? Lemme buy you a drink
<@Warlock[OmNi]> im a minor
<+Ivy[OmNi]> it's all good, I am a pedophile... I have candy

#367755 +(1355)- [X]

bitch tells me i got a drinkin problem
i tell her she has an ugly problem and im tryin to make it less obvious
we dont get along so well after that

#527101 +(2241)- [X]

gah...
I was visiting my college roommate earlier today...
his ex-GF and his daughter were there...
they were in the other room watching cartoons or something...
and my friend asked me how my life was going, and I told him that things wre OK but it felt like there was some sort of consperacy to keep me from getting laid...
his ex GF immediatly calls someone on her Cel phone and says "He knows"

#54011 +(421)- [X]

Real programmers don't comment their code. It was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.

#485105 +(695)- [X]

Wolfe177: Me: "so when are we going to use this stuff in real life", math teacher: "when u become a math teacher"

#138487 +(886)- [X]

> Okay life is good.
> Some girl I know IRL.
> Just im'ed me and said she masturbated thinking of me last night.
> Yep, life is good.
lol
> Aww fuck.. she said it was the wrong window.

#650907 +(809)- [X]

neo is spending all his time fixing his new van
If its new, why does it need fixing?
Kevin: heh, if you asked that question about software, it would sound completely idiotic

#60290 +(1210)- [X]

damn
my neices cat ran away
i said it went to kitty land, so she wants to know where kitty land is
i bring up my browser
type in www.kittyland.com
and then closed it as fast as humanly possible

#16747 +(107)- [X]

I PLANNED IF WE WERE BOMBED BY CANADA
I PLANNED IF BIG BIRD TOOK OVER THE WORLD
BUT THE ONE THING I NEVER PLAN FOR ALWAYS HAPPENS

#682292 +(329)- [X]

<+billy_s> im taking a break from programming and trying to escape the world of geekness and then winamp brings up "Norah Jones - Pointer Song" GODAMN IT LEAVE ME ALONE

#3902 +(728)- [X]

<+Tre> how do I get girls to have sex with me?
<+sp00n> show them software you have written..woman go wild for that kind of stuff
<+Tre> for real? how should i show them? do I carry my laptop around and show random woman??

#244367 +(1088)- [X]

<@Nosferatu> Sensitive men do exist...
<@Nosferatu> A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up
<@Nosferatu> leaving together. They get back to his apartment and she notices that his
<@Nosferatu> bedroom is completely packed with sweet cuddly teddy bears. Hundreds of
<@Nosferatu> cute small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, cuddly
<@Nosferatu> medium-sized ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge enormous bears on
<@Nosferatu> the top shelf along the wall. The woman is surprised that this guy would
<@Nosferatu> have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but
<@Nosferatu> she decides not to mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by
<@Nosferatu> his sensitive side. She turns to him... they kiss... and then they rip each
<@Nosferatu> other's clothes off and make hot steamy love.
<@Nosferatu> After an intense night of passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying
<@Nosferatu> there together in the afterglow, the woman rolls over and she asks,
<@Nosferatu> smiling, "Well, how was it?"
<@Nosferatu> The guy says:
<@Nosferatu> "Help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf."

111433 (сохранена 2010-03-26 в 14:00)

xxx: Я обожал свою девушку до тех пор, пока у неё в универе не появилась дисциплина "Веб-дизайн"(Html). Мне естественно как знатоку пришлось помогать.
xxx: Теперь я ненавижу эту тупую тварь.

1

Но сам я не таков. Я не могу сидеть сложа руки и праздно
глядеть, как кто-то трудится в поте лица. У меня сразу же
появляется потребность встать и начать распоряжаться, и я
прохаживаюсь, засунув руки в карманы, и руковожу. Я деятелен по
натуре. Тут уж ничего не поделаешь.

с меня часто скачивают .net 1.1, который у меня лежит просто потому, что я забываю его стереть.
но все таки, нахера его качают?

в талере сидят девочки по двое-трое за столиком, культурно потягивают пивасик, курят, беседуют.
в соседней рыгаловке пацаны по 2-3 за столом жрут водку, дымят, болтают о том о сем.

скучно им, наверно.

#1354 +(850)- [X]
I have Q3, but I like playing it about as much as I like trying to suck my own wang.

i.e. it's painful and futile, but once and a while I try to do it just to prove that I can. And I can't.

попутчица

Наконец-то вспомнил, где я видел этот жест - когда моя попутчица по ежебудничному маршруту на работу выбрасывает билетик в урну. Не попадает. Так же, как шалунья в "дневнике обольстителя" выглядывала из-под ворот посмотреть, идет ли дождь. Так мило.

черт, теперь у меня явно просматривается второй подбородок....

настя на курсах. гюго.
как бы чего не вышло...