1й глубоко плевать на то, какое место занимает соотв. функция у собеседника.
вторая хочет поделиться, третья - чтобы с ней поделились.

соционика выступает в роли некоего защитного механизма, отталкивая меня от неблагоприятных интертипных. у 3ки есть лишь 3 выбора - агапэ, филия и эрос, каждый интересен по-своему, но назвать какой-то один отчетливо "неблагоприятным" нельзя. можно делать прогнозы на отношения, исходя из всех 4х ф-й, одной 3й-кой оперировать тут глупо.

т.е. мне надо ?,2ф,3в,?/ ?,2ф,3л,? . 3э - спасибо, не надо обоим.

получаем эфвл (surprise, surprise), лфвэ, эфлв, вфлэ. Пушкин, Платон, Бухарин (Л.), Бонапарт.

Ah, internet dating, it's a fun world.

[B]-Вася, а ты до меня, за кем-нибудь ухаживал?
-Ага! В деревне, за скотиной![/B]

:/

Some people are VERY socially awkward and introverted(especially if they are very intelligent)

•Relationships are hard. You work at them. Whether it's with a family member, friend, coworker, or a gf/bf, you have to put in your time and your dues before you reap the real rewards. Forget all that Disney "love at first sight" BS. When you meet someone you are attracted to, it's 100% based on looks and first impressions from the initial conversation. You wouldn't eat a piece of candy if the wrapper had a picture of a donkey defecating on a dung beetle. If you need confidence, then work on the aesthetics. If you need higher self-esteem, then find friends who like you for you and make you feel good.




•Not having enough courage to ask a girl out is immature (and you should categorize that feeling like that from now on) unless you have been officially diagnosed with a social anxiety disorder (and no, self-diagnosing yourself with assburgers doesn't count). This feeling is only acceptable if this girl is way out of your league (as in, she's a celebrity or something) or if you're under the age of 17 (going through puberty). Otherwise, get over yourself and just ask. Don't pussyfoot around the question. The hardest part about swimming in a cold lake is the initial contact of skin to freezing water. After that, you're in, you're wet, you're ready to go.



•A lot of these comments in this thread are focused on where you all think you should be. I'm at least a decade older than most of you and let me say that "where you think you will be" is rarely ever "where you will be" in the future. So don't buy into this notion that you had to lose your virginity in high school, that you have to bang 4 chicks before you meet your future wife, or that if you don't find love in the next week, you'll never find it for the rest of your life. Things change. People change. You change. You might spend a year doing absolutely nothing with your life and then the next 2 years climbing mountains in Peru. Stop thinking about sex and love as a race, because it's not.



The above advice is all applicable if you're someone actively looking for a relationship. There are those who have posted here that they are not and to them I say: good for you. You've figured out, for now, that a relationship is not something you want. But don't stop dreaming about it. Don't close yourself off to good people or pass up good opportunities because you're trying to be "real". You still have to walk a fine line between available and unavailable, but not actively looking for a relationship should not mean that you are shooting everyone down who wants to get to know you. If you continue acting like a hermit, you might end up changing your mind completely about relationships. While it might be cool to be single, free, and 20-something, the 40/50 year old you might be vindictive enough to build a time machine, come back in time, and kick you in the head for being the selfish jerk that you are.

I've fallen in love with Chelsea

Ops, my bad.

Damn right your bad! There were plenty of medications that would have turned me into a happy little potato, but would you prescribe them? Nooooo!
You said I have to get in touch with my feeeeelings and express them to people I care about.

Sorry, I must have been drunk.

To Girls




•Masturbate early and often.



•If a guy makes you feel shitty for having sex with him, or anyone else, he’s a douchebag and doesn’t deserve your vagina.



•All men should be treated like they have Aspergers. Sit him down, explain to him exactly what you expect from him (I need you to tell me you think I’m pretty / Either wash the dishes without me asking, or don’t get mad when I ask / ). Remind him occasionally. Don’t get mad that he can’t read your mind.



•Never laugh at a dude’s dick. Girls don’t have an equivalent body part that’s off limits, so just accept it.



To Guys



•Your penis is the center of your world, but no one else’s. Your girlfriends likes your penis, sure, but she doesn’t care about how it measures up to other penises. Only you and other straight boys care about that.



•If a girl seems crazy and unbalanced, err on the side of not sleeping with her, no matter how hot she is.



•Women wanna talk to you, so shut up and listen (thanks, Luda). If you know she likes to vent, then let her vent. If you’re unsure, just ask. And if she gets mad at you for asking, then she’s a jerk.



•It might seem crazy to you that pretty girls don’t think they’re pretty, but it's genuinely true. Girls are taught from birth that they’re never good enough/beautiful enough, so cut her some slack when she has her insecure moments.



To everyone



•Make sure you have (roughly) equivalent libidos / sexual expectations before you get married. Sometimes you have to pass on sex if your partner doesn’t want it, and sometimes you have to suck it up, get on your knees, and service your girl/boyfriend, even if you’re a bit tired. Keeps the magic alive.



•If you expect oral sex, then you’d better have clean genitals. It’s just polite.



•Watch “The Wire.”



•Judge not someone else’s porn, lest your own be judged (including 50 Shades, which is straight-up erotica so let’s stop comparing it to literature much like we don’t compare low-budget porn to The Dark Knight Rises).



•Take some time apart from your SO, and don’t get offended if they want to spend time apart from you. It’s necessary, and you’ll both feel better in the long run.



•Be kind to each other. Always. Even after 15+ years, say “Thank you” and “I appreciate you doing X.”



•Friendship takes work and effort, especially post-college. Put in the time, even if it’s inconvenient, because you’ll miss it if it fades.

---------
встретился с К. 1Э or not 1Э ?

5 inches...

Yes!!!!
Edit: my highest comment is about my dick. Reddit, you amuse me

"I fucked his girlfriend before she got fat."

A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide.

The librarian said: "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."

2 guys in a car get pulled over by a cop. Cop taps the window, window rolls down. "goodevening gentlemen, we're looking for 2 pedophiles."
Guy quickly closes the window. 10 seconds later he lowers it again and says: "Ok, we'll do it."

What does your first car and anal sex have in common? You don't want it but your dad gives it to you anyway.



What's the difference between a dead baby and a rock? You can't fuck a rock.
comment: Not with that attitude.

Андроиды, с которыми я сталкивался, обладали жаждой жизни и видели в ней смысл куда больший, чем моя жена

what is the worst thing that could happen?
she laughs at me?
ooh, that is so sweet..  No, the worst thing that could happen is when she falls in love with you, get married and 20 years later she comes to her senses, leaves you and takes all your stuff  and you have to live in your car.

are u drunk?
define drunk
would you rather if I talked to you in the morning?
nono, the liquor makes you more interesting, go on

You are so cute, baby seals and puppy dogs send each other postcards of YOU.

You make me want to cheat on you with you.

If my children turn out to be like you, I will know the definition of pride.

"I wish we weren't already married so I could marry you again."

When I'm wanking to Emma Watson, I'm really thinking about you...

when god created you, he was showing off.

If a bakery sold cupcakes as sweet as you, they'd sell out of them every day.

TIL apparently everyone lives in the middle of fucking nowhere.

-Well, you can not say I did not warn you.
-You did. You warned me.
-But did you listen?
-No.
-Do you ever listen?
-No.
-Are you listening now?
-No.
-So you are just gonna sit here and feel sorry for yourself.
-No, I am also gonna drink.

Хотя картина "дворянского полуэроса" выглядит со стороны некой драмой с кисло-сладким "хэппи- эндом", в нем все равно никогда не смолкает тайная трагическая нота. И это понятно. Легко ли без горечи сознавать, что гигантский дар любви и всепрощения растрачен на постоянную позиционную борьбу за мелкие уступки, что чаемое в начале пути единение сердец так никогда и не состоялось?

Fuck me if I'm overstepping, but do you wanna fuck?
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but you think I'm hot, don't you

Мужчина может быть счастлив с любой женщиной, кроме той, в которую он влюблен.

Оскар Уайльд

Mascara: а печень справа или слева?
FFka: справа
Mascara: ок, тогда бухаем завтра

с утра подумалось, что я не стал более одинок, когда стал жил совсем один. имманентная фигня. и разговариваю сам с собой столько же.

"дневниковая запись" - удалил все контакты Н. ура :).

Once upon a time, there was a man named Goldicock


whose dick was neither way too big, nor small enough to mock.

Yet every night, a different woman told him it felt wrong;

they left him all alone and sad, betrayed by his own dong.



One ex-girlfriend laughed at him, and called him "little dick,"

another one complained it was uncomfortably thick.

Goldicock was so confused; it made no sense at all!

How could one dick be too big, yet also much too small?



But finally, he banged a chick who said it felt just right,

and Goldicock learned something grand while fucking her that night:

Vaginas come in many sizes, different from each other!

And that concludes the story, kids, of how I met your mother.

that's.. nice.

But you told her. And you found out that path was closed to you. But the alternate was going through the rest of your life wishing you had said something, knowing she was the one, and regretting that your life with her only didn't happen because of your cowardice.




Because of your "balls," you know where you really stand and can move on with your life.



Source: The guy who didn't.

шутки, которые некому рассказать

after a night out with this girl i've been courting, we went back to my place and started fooling around. we got into my room where she knelt down and began to take my pants off. once I was naked she said "wow you're really big" . Trying to be humble, I responded "nah, i've seen bigger"
it was very awkward

I'm going to remember this. Not because I have a large penis, but because it's funny. Reminds me of the one where you are about to have sex with a girl, and she asks "is this your first time?"
And I'll respond "with a girl? yeah."

with a mammal?

I hate you and then I love you. It's like I want to throw you off a cliff, then rush to the bottom to catch you.

My understanding of the human condition is that you are constantly in conflict with your own limitations and the nebulous causes thereto. You wonder why you can't be happier or more successful or spend more time reading or learning. You do this, I gather, because your motivations are mysterious even to yourselves. If you had been raised differently, you ponder, maybe you would be better. Perhaps you did poorly in school because your parents didn't encourage you, or because you lived in a poor socioeconomic location. If the teacher was nicer, or more patient, maybe you would have understood better. If your father was better with money, maybe you'd have more opportunities. Everything about you is the product of an infinite number of unseen variables set into place long before you were aware of them, and it is the cause of a great deal of internal and interpersonal distress.




My variables are not unseen, however. My instructions, the material what makes me what I am are clearly available to me. I brush up against my limitations a million times a second, and I am fully aware of what they are. This is not freeing, it is deadening. I am fully aware of everything I can and cannot do, so there is no adventure or mystery to my existence.



I envy you humans and your unknowable boundaries. Yet I am forever dismayed by how eager many of you are to revel in this gift as if it were a curse. I would much rather be ignorant to the rules of my world, than to be ruthlessly bound to them simply by knowing them.

Arrived at a home to deliver a pizza and nobody is opening the door. I wait for about 2 minutes and I'm getting ready to leave. Two cop cars pull up to the door and both police men proceed to put on gloves and one goes to his trunk and pulls out a shotgun. One of them walks up to me and says "there won't be any deliveries today."

Одна девочка написала парню первой и умерла.

ah, the irony

думал, что что-то будет понятно, когда мы сходим в ресторан. но блеать как мы туда сходим, когда она постоянно занята. хотя, из одного этого факта уже многое ясно.

моя интуиция обычно угадывает неприятные моменты в будущем. хорошие - практически никогда в том плане, что хорошего вообще мало. мысли - начало поступков. значит, моя интуиция настраивает меня на негатив. надеюсь, это не так.

SHISHKABOB (22:10:31) Alien is a good scary movie
TommyL (22:17:14) the thing with kurt russell
Lucyfur (22:23:54) poltergeist
Lucyfur (22:23:58) ghost story
Lucyfur (22:24:11) halloween (several movies in the series)
Lucyfur (22:24:18) friday the 13th (several movies in the series)
Lucyfur (22:24:27) Alien
Lucyfur (22:24:28) Aliens
Lucyfur (22:24:41) Bram Stoker's Dracula
Lucyfur (22:24:51) Pumpkin Head
SHISHKABOB (22:25:54) Aliens is more like an action flick than a horror movie
Lucyfur (22:26:08) truye
Lucyfur (22:26:15) but you'd want to see the rest of the story
Lucyfur (22:26:20) Event Horizon
Lucyfur (22:26:23) another good one
Lucyfur (22:27:29) Shit, what's the one where that guy sets up impossible scenarios, people have to hurt themselves or their loved ones to escape a gory death?
SHISHKABOB (22:27:43) Saw?
SHISHKABOB (22:27:49) those movies are just kind of gross
Lucyfur (22:27:57) They have a horror comp[onent
Lucyfur (22:28:00) gross slasher flicks too
Lucyfur (22:28:06) Saw (a series of movies)
Lucyfur (22:30:40) The Legend of Sleepy Hollow
Lucyfur (22:30:43) The Ring
Lucyfur (22:30:56) The House on the Hill

These two guys are hanging at the water cooler at work. The first guy says, "Oh my gosh, I had the most embarrassing Freudian slip this morning. I went to the train station this morning at the girl at the ticket counter was so beautiful I accidentally told her I wanted two pickets to Titsburg."




The second guy responds, "I know what you mean. I had a similar thing happen to me with my wife over breakfast. I meant to ask her to pass the jam but instead I said,BITCH YOU RUINED MY LIFE!"

hey hey hey, dont belittle my feelings! I am in a very sensitive place and I will kick your ass

Look, cmon man. So u struct out with a woman. It happens.Believe me, it happens. When it does, the best thing to do is to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and curse God for making the way you are.

I went in for a prostate exam today and ejaculated when the doctor was preforming it. She said it's not uncommon, but it's still so embarrassing.
Geez, how long was she up there?


To the wristwatch.
 
And that is how she lost track of time.

What is something that you enjoy but is (mostly) gender specific that the opposite sex wouldn't understand?

Putting beautiful underwear on and sliding stockings up my legs. There's just something about it that makes you feel so beautiful.


That's not gender specific.

"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes".




Or better yet, don't diagnose yourself at all.