•Relationships are hard. You work at them. Whether it's with a family member, friend, coworker, or a gf/bf, you have to put in your time and your dues before you reap the real rewards. Forget all that Disney "love at first sight" BS. When you meet someone you are attracted to, it's 100% based on looks and first impressions from the initial conversation. You wouldn't eat a piece of candy if the wrapper had a picture of a donkey defecating on a dung beetle. If you need confidence, then work on the aesthetics. If you need higher self-esteem, then find friends who like you for you and make you feel good.
•Not having enough courage to ask a girl out is immature (and you should categorize that feeling like that from now on) unless you have been officially diagnosed with a social anxiety disorder (and no, self-diagnosing yourself with assburgers doesn't count). This feeling is only acceptable if this girl is way out of your league (as in, she's a celebrity or something) or if you're under the age of 17 (going through puberty). Otherwise, get over yourself and just ask. Don't pussyfoot around the question. The hardest part about swimming in a cold lake is the initial contact of skin to freezing water. After that, you're in, you're wet, you're ready to go.
•A lot of these comments in this thread are focused on where you all think you should be. I'm at least a decade older than most of you and let me say that "where you think you will be" is rarely ever "where you will be" in the future. So don't buy into this notion that you had to lose your virginity in high school, that you have to bang 4 chicks before you meet your future wife, or that if you don't find love in the next week, you'll never find it for the rest of your life. Things change. People change. You change. You might spend a year doing absolutely nothing with your life and then the next 2 years climbing mountains in Peru. Stop thinking about sex and love as a race, because it's not.
The above advice is all applicable if you're someone actively looking for a relationship. There are those who have posted here that they are not and to them I say: good for you. You've figured out, for now, that a relationship is not something you want. But don't stop dreaming about it. Don't close yourself off to good people or pass up good opportunities because you're trying to be "real". You still have to walk a fine line between available and unavailable, but not actively looking for a relationship should not mean that you are shooting everyone down who wants to get to know you. If you continue acting like a hermit, you might end up changing your mind completely about relationships. While it might be cool to be single, free, and 20-something, the 40/50 year old you might be vindictive enough to build a time machine, come back in time, and kick you in the head for being the selfish jerk that you are.
•Not having enough courage to ask a girl out is immature (and you should categorize that feeling like that from now on) unless you have been officially diagnosed with a social anxiety disorder (and no, self-diagnosing yourself with assburgers doesn't count). This feeling is only acceptable if this girl is way out of your league (as in, she's a celebrity or something) or if you're under the age of 17 (going through puberty). Otherwise, get over yourself and just ask. Don't pussyfoot around the question. The hardest part about swimming in a cold lake is the initial contact of skin to freezing water. After that, you're in, you're wet, you're ready to go.
•A lot of these comments in this thread are focused on where you all think you should be. I'm at least a decade older than most of you and let me say that "where you think you will be" is rarely ever "where you will be" in the future. So don't buy into this notion that you had to lose your virginity in high school, that you have to bang 4 chicks before you meet your future wife, or that if you don't find love in the next week, you'll never find it for the rest of your life. Things change. People change. You change. You might spend a year doing absolutely nothing with your life and then the next 2 years climbing mountains in Peru. Stop thinking about sex and love as a race, because it's not.
The above advice is all applicable if you're someone actively looking for a relationship. There are those who have posted here that they are not and to them I say: good for you. You've figured out, for now, that a relationship is not something you want. But don't stop dreaming about it. Don't close yourself off to good people or pass up good opportunities because you're trying to be "real". You still have to walk a fine line between available and unavailable, but not actively looking for a relationship should not mean that you are shooting everyone down who wants to get to know you. If you continue acting like a hermit, you might end up changing your mind completely about relationships. While it might be cool to be single, free, and 20-something, the 40/50 year old you might be vindictive enough to build a time machine, come back in time, and kick you in the head for being the selfish jerk that you are.
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