"I fucked his girlfriend before she got fat."

A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide.

The librarian said: "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."

2 guys in a car get pulled over by a cop. Cop taps the window, window rolls down. "goodevening gentlemen, we're looking for 2 pedophiles."
Guy quickly closes the window. 10 seconds later he lowers it again and says: "Ok, we'll do it."

What does your first car and anal sex have in common? You don't want it but your dad gives it to you anyway.



What's the difference between a dead baby and a rock? You can't fuck a rock.
comment: Not with that attitude.