To Girls
•Masturbate early and often.
•If a guy makes you feel shitty for having sex with him, or anyone else, he’s a douchebag and doesn’t deserve your vagina.
•All men should be treated like they have Aspergers. Sit him down, explain to him exactly what you expect from him (I need you to tell me you think I’m pretty / Either wash the dishes without me asking, or don’t get mad when I ask / ). Remind him occasionally. Don’t get mad that he can’t read your mind.
•Never laugh at a dude’s dick. Girls don’t have an equivalent body part that’s off limits, so just accept it.
To Guys
•Your penis is the center of your world, but no one else’s. Your girlfriends likes your penis, sure, but she doesn’t care about how it measures up to other penises. Only you and other straight boys care about that.
•If a girl seems crazy and unbalanced, err on the side of not sleeping with her, no matter how hot she is.
•Women wanna talk to you, so shut up and listen (thanks, Luda). If you know she likes to vent, then let her vent. If you’re unsure, just ask. And if she gets mad at you for asking, then she’s a jerk.
•It might seem crazy to you that pretty girls don’t think they’re pretty, but it's genuinely true. Girls are taught from birth that they’re never good enough/beautiful enough, so cut her some slack when she has her insecure moments.
To everyone
•Make sure you have (roughly) equivalent libidos / sexual expectations before you get married. Sometimes you have to pass on sex if your partner doesn’t want it, and sometimes you have to suck it up, get on your knees, and service your girl/boyfriend, even if you’re a bit tired. Keeps the magic alive.
•If you expect oral sex, then you’d better have clean genitals. It’s just polite.
•Watch “The Wire.”
•Judge not someone else’s porn, lest your own be judged (including 50 Shades, which is straight-up erotica so let’s stop comparing it to literature much like we don’t compare low-budget porn to The Dark Knight Rises).
•Take some time apart from your SO, and don’t get offended if they want to spend time apart from you. It’s necessary, and you’ll both feel better in the long run.
•Be kind to each other. Always. Even after 15+ years, say “Thank you” and “I appreciate you doing X.”
•Friendship takes work and effort, especially post-college. Put in the time, even if it’s inconvenient, because you’ll miss it if it fades.
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встретился с К. 1Э or not 1Э ?
•Masturbate early and often.
•If a guy makes you feel shitty for having sex with him, or anyone else, he’s a douchebag and doesn’t deserve your vagina.
•All men should be treated like they have Aspergers. Sit him down, explain to him exactly what you expect from him (I need you to tell me you think I’m pretty / Either wash the dishes without me asking, or don’t get mad when I ask / ). Remind him occasionally. Don’t get mad that he can’t read your mind.
•Never laugh at a dude’s dick. Girls don’t have an equivalent body part that’s off limits, so just accept it.
To Guys
•Your penis is the center of your world, but no one else’s. Your girlfriends likes your penis, sure, but she doesn’t care about how it measures up to other penises. Only you and other straight boys care about that.
•If a girl seems crazy and unbalanced, err on the side of not sleeping with her, no matter how hot she is.
•Women wanna talk to you, so shut up and listen (thanks, Luda). If you know she likes to vent, then let her vent. If you’re unsure, just ask. And if she gets mad at you for asking, then she’s a jerk.
•It might seem crazy to you that pretty girls don’t think they’re pretty, but it's genuinely true. Girls are taught from birth that they’re never good enough/beautiful enough, so cut her some slack when she has her insecure moments.
To everyone
•Make sure you have (roughly) equivalent libidos / sexual expectations before you get married. Sometimes you have to pass on sex if your partner doesn’t want it, and sometimes you have to suck it up, get on your knees, and service your girl/boyfriend, even if you’re a bit tired. Keeps the magic alive.
•If you expect oral sex, then you’d better have clean genitals. It’s just polite.
•Watch “The Wire.”
•Judge not someone else’s porn, lest your own be judged (including 50 Shades, which is straight-up erotica so let’s stop comparing it to literature much like we don’t compare low-budget porn to The Dark Knight Rises).
•Take some time apart from your SO, and don’t get offended if they want to spend time apart from you. It’s necessary, and you’ll both feel better in the long run.
•Be kind to each other. Always. Even after 15+ years, say “Thank you” and “I appreciate you doing X.”
•Friendship takes work and effort, especially post-college. Put in the time, even if it’s inconvenient, because you’ll miss it if it fades.
---------
встретился с К. 1Э or not 1Э ?
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